August 22, 2009
Devitte's running commentary
by Kyle Devitte/
Ladies and gentlemen, in case you missed it, I followed the Cannons game live from Navy Marine Corps Memorial Stadium Saturday afternoon. We all know the result by now, but hey, if you want to get some laughs in and relive the game (you sick SOB), read on.
@kdevitte Haz teh Twitterz! Hi guys, here in the press box since it's raining. Navy Stadium smells of cotton candy and/or teenage girls.
PS: Check out the background on www.twitter.com/bostoncannons
Kip Turner starting in net. Probably. Maybe. At some point. Soon. He will be.
Kim Kardashian is followed by the Cannons. I'm on Team Reggie, so I'm going to unfollow her. Boom. Roasted.
What is the proper etiquette for grabbing press box pizza? Twenty seconds? A minute? Until there are plates? I'm going in. Cover me.
The Cannons are on the field. Repeat: the Cannons are on the field. PACINO! INCHES SPEECH! GO!
Attention, ladies and gents, I have just been informed that there are DUELING TWITTERZ IN THE PRESS BOX! OH NOES! @Denveroutlaws. @losers.
The national anthem was sung by Smithers from the Simpsons. But it was glorious.
Opening FO goes to Denver. Cannons stifle the initial drive, Matt Casey with phenomenal individual defense.
Flag on Denver. Or something, Goal Clifton Al-rich, from Ryan Boyle. Answered right back by Brendan Mundorf. Un assisted.
I can't even see the ball when Paul Rabil shoots. I can only see unicorns when he scores.
Timeout. Chris Nowell throws shirts like a girl. I give you blog airtime and THAT'S how you throw stuff into the crowd? Disgraceful.
Weak flag. Turner SAVE! YAY KIP! YYYAAAAYYYY!
Did Beninati just say "rearguards?" What's a rearguard? Timeout. On the field, not for Beninati. Filthy goal from Greg Downing. I need a shower. 2-1 Boston. Boom. The Cannons are 5-1 when Downing scores. DOUBLE BOOM!
Brendan Mundorf scores. Wah, wah, wah. Sneaky little Aussie ...
Little altercation on the field between Boyle and some Outlaws defenders to end the quarter. It's getting spicy down there.
Cassese rips low corner on Schwartzman. Great snipe from the Lehigh head coach.
Max Seibald face plants at half field. Bwahahaha. Oh man. That one was for you @danfreshman. Maxi noooo!
Did Morris just KO Jesse Schwartzman? In the face! IN THE FACEEE! Backup keeper for the Outlaws is in.
Boyle scores despite being tossed like a rag doll through the crease. The feed from Pauly Rabes ... That was insane. MVP. MVP. MVP! MVP!
It's 4-2 and Denver has called another timeout. Scaaared. SCCCCCAAAAAARRREEEEDDD!
YEEEAAHHHHH THESE GUYS ARE RIPPED TO THE BONE!!! YEEEAAAHHHH! Jake Steinfeld = greatest owner in sports.
BRANDON CORP! ggggggg-g-uuuuuuuunit! 5-2 Cannons. Great spin move from Corpy.
SAVE KIP! YAY KIP! YAYAYAYYAYAYYAYY!
Boyle is a pro. Dude sells every single foul. PRO. Man up, Boston. Wasted. Denver scores on the other end, Brendan freaking Mundorf. Again. 5-3, Boston.
Josh Sims, doing what Josh Sims does best. Score from outside. 5-4. Here come the Outlaws.
Paul Rabil scores. Look, a unicorn! In the sky! So majestic!
Schwartzman is melting down. NO I WILL NOT MAKE A FAT JOKE, PRESS BOX REPORTER WHO KEEPS LOOKING AT ME!
6-5 Cannons. WHERE IS AVERY WATTS? TOOL.
The boys are back on the field for the second half. Nervous. Eck wins the draw easily and breaks. Nothing comes of it, though.
Dude, what are the refs doing? Let them play, guys. It's the playoffs, not the whistle-offs.
Quint, no one in the MLL has 8-10 slide packages. Come on. Seriously. They're just making it LOOK like the defense is that good ...
GOAL Ryan Boyle ... I don't think he even caught it, but it went in. 7-5 Cannons. Vive le tonnere!
Clifton Alrich ... flies through the crease? What the — count it! I didn't think Alrich could jump over a credit card ... 8-5 Boston.
Goal from Jeff "Sonic" Sonke. Old man strength powered that goal. 8-6, Boston clinging to the two-goal lead.
Holy crap, Kyle Harrison is alive! Oh, Kyle, you can't do the Rampage Jackson yell. How dare you.
It's 8-7 Boston. Barely. Offsetting penalties for Paul Rabil and Eric Martin for slashing each other. Alrich scores, Hat trick for him makes it 9-7 Boston.
It didn't count? What the ... hey announcers, or refs how about you explain what is going on down there? It's still 8-7.
Matty Alrich atones and gets his hatty back. Sean Morris has assisted on all three Cannons goals this quarter. Boom! INFOTASTIC!
9-7 Cannons coming out of yet another (TV) timeout. 2:32 to play in the third Q. Intangible save from Kip! INTANGIBLE!
KIP TURNER WITH THREE SAVES TO PRESERVE THE LEAD! HE HAS 15 SAVES! KIP TURNER WAS BORN ON THIS FIELD HE WILL NOT DIE ON THIS FIELD!
Fourth quarter is on. Eck wins it; bad passing destroys break. Sims scores on a rebound BTB its 9-8. Nervous again.
This quarter is like camping in the rain. In tents.
Drizzling on the field now. Must remember to breathe. Cannons are getting good shots, but not scoring. Frustrating to watch.
Josh Sims goes top cheese. The game is tied for the first time since the first quarter. 7:31 left in the game. I'm going to go throw up.
Hey all you old school MLL haters: Is 9-9 defensive enough for you? Have fun playing crappy summer ball for the rest of your lives.
Josh Sims scores again. 10-9. His fourth of the afternoon. Color me impressed. You can't let guys stroll through the crease like that.
Kyle Harrison scores — he hasn't made that shot since college. It's 11-9. Another Cannons mental breakdown. 5:47. Next possessions are key.
Three minutes left. It's not over until a goalie or faceoff guy sings.
What a horrible call. A trip on a guy that is 6-foot-6, 240 pounds, and then they sent Reid to the box even though he wasn't there. Horrible.
Matt/Clifton Alrich gives Cannons nation hope and scores his fourth of the game. 11-10. It's all up to Eck on the next draw ... turnover.
@!#!@$@#%$#%$#^$%^.
Game over. Denver takes it, 11-10. Too many mistakes from the offense. I'm out. Check me out on @kdevitte and @laxunited. Later.
